


1995 - Girls + Boys

by Shoeless_Sam



Series: September 17th [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Dean Winchester admits his feelings, Dean is being less of a douche, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), F/F, F/M, High School, I had strawberry fanta today, M/M, Strawberries, Teen Romance, Teen fic, can you believe I'm updating again??, cause who doesn't love them, enjoy, maybe I have an obsession with strawberries, sophomore year, strawberry cupcakes again!!, though ya know he still has some ways to go, ummmm idk what else to put
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 21:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18060767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoeless_Sam/pseuds/Shoeless_Sam
Summary: September 17th, 1995Sometimes it can be hard to admit your feelings. Luckily Dean Winchester has a little brother that can help him realize just how head over heels he is for an 'Angel'.---Chapter 11 of the "September 17th" series; a story that takes place on Sept. 17, in different years. Can be read as a stand-alone one-shot, but to understand everything it's best to read from the beginning!





	1995 - Girls + Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, look who wrote another chapter! I don't know why I've been so motivated to write this, but I'll write as much as I can while I have this energy to.
> 
> \---
> 
> Also a little timestamp for you:  
> Castiel and Dean are in 10th grade  
> Castiel - 15  
> Dean - 15  
> Gabe - 22  
> Sam - 12
> 
> \---
> 
> Incase you haven't read previous chapters; This story takes place on September 17th, but each chapter takes place in a new year. (If it seems confusing, don't worry! It will make sense when you read)

_ September 17th, 1995 _

 

Dean put the two sandwiches on different plates, and it wasn’t until that moment that he even realized he had made two. He had gotten so used to making two meals for lunch; one for him and one to drop off to Cas. It had been a whole year since Cas allowed Dean to bring him lunch and know about his newest bruises. Cas never thanked him and Dean never expected it. They weren’t friends and hardly ever talked, but Dean knew Cas was okay. That was all that mattered.

Of course it would be nice if they were friends again, but Dean hurt Cas bad and he knew it. How could he even forgive  _ himself?  _ He couldn’t.

Dean decided to push his thoughts out of his mind, instead bringing the other sandwich to Sammy upstairs. It was a Saturday, and Sam had just gotten back from baseball. Dean assumed he joined it to impress the coach’s daughter. He knew her older sister, and might have done the exact same thing at Sam’s age.

Sammy was listening to music, some poppy band that Dean would never admit that he liked. The door was closed though, so being the good older brother he was, he knocked first. It took a second, but the music stopped and Sam opened the door for him.

Sam let him in and Dean was happy to see Sam hadn’t been getting friendly with his hand. He plopped the plate down on Sam’s desk and sat on the bed. He balanced his sandwich on his knee.

“Thanks,” Sam said, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.

“So… what were you doing in here anyways?” Dean was curious. Obviously Sam wasn’t doing  _ that _ but Dean was still curious. “Listening to teen girl music?”

Sam laughed at him. “You’re one to talk.” What did that mean? Sam must have noticed Dean’s look. “Nothing, it was a joke. But I was, uh, messaging Jess. And Castiel.”

“Jess?” Dean didn’t really want to talk to Sam about Cas. He was always on his mind anyways, it didn’t need to be said out loud. And Dean really didn’t want to have some chick flick moment with his brother.

“No, Dean. You can’t just avoid Castiel like that,” Sammy and Castiel were still decent friends, Dean should have known better than try to change the subject. “Jess is just a girl I know from school and baseball, she’s on the team actually.” Sam couldn’t help the goofy smile he got or the blush that followed it. “But regardless, you can’t just change the subject.”

“I’m not changing the subject! I just don’t feel like talking about it.”

Sam laughed at him again. “Feelings, Dean? You don’t want to talk about feelings?” He slid his sandwich away from him, oh god no. Dean knew what this was. Sammy was making this a serious conversation. “Why are you so scared to talk about them? Or-or about him?! You know, you guys used to be best friends. You remember? Or did you forget when you became ‘Mr. Bad Boy’ who dates the head cheerleader and wears leather? When did you forget about how much he meant to you?!”

Something he couldn’t describe hit Dean hard, and made his heart hurt with all the emotions he pushed away. “I didn’t forget, Sam! I didn’t. I never forgot. How the fuck could someone forget those crystal blue eyes that give the ocean a run for its money! And how when he laughs or smiles it goes to his eyes too and they look even more beautiful and make me feel even more alive!! And I couldn’t forget how serious he was, and how as much as it pissed me off, it was the thing I loved-- love most about him. You think I forgot, but I never did. I just didn’t want him to get hurt because of me! I knew, I knew if I even stayed friends with him they’d go after him. I mean they still did but even more so. At least I could contain it a bit! But to do that, I had to make him hate me. Because if he didn’t, I wouldn’t have let him go. And I needed to let go. But don’t think for a damn second I wanted to!”

His throat burned and he was holding back tears, but if he weren’t out of breath he would have screamed it more. He had to breathe. Just breathe. And now he was crying. Great. He so didn’t want this to be a chick flick.

Sam walked over to him. He took the plate and placed it on his nightstand. “Do you… Dean, do you want to talk about how you feel about Castiel?” Sam placed a gentle hand on Dean’s shoulder. “You’ve never really talked about it. And I know what happened in the past. And you don’t have to, but--”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean cut him off, but Sam could care less. He wiped a few tears away, but they were coming and he was useless to stop them. “I’d like to talk about.”

“Okay. Just start wherever you want. I’m just going to listen, and I won’t interrupt you.”

Dean took a deep breath, and prayed that his voice stayed steady. “I… I’ve always liked Cas. And not just as a best friend. Like maybe something more?”

“Like a boyfriend?” Sam prompted. He promised not to interrupt, but he also knew Dean might need some help on this.

Dean laughed a bit, this was crazy. Was he really going to admit to this? “Yeah. Like a, like a boyfriend. Or, a girlfriend. Like when we were kids.”

Sam thought it over a moment. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it?” Sammy couldn’t just accept this.

“What do you want me to say? You’re been crushing on him since as long as I can remember. And you get this goofy smile on your face when you used to talk about him. And now, since you hurt him, you have this broken look. Like you just lost your puppy. Or worse. The love of your life. And you’re scared to admit it, and you finally are beginning to. So okay, let’s keep going.” Damn, Sammy was a smart 12 year old.

“Well, so you know you get the same Winchester goofy smile on your face when you talk about Jess.” Sam got the same goofy smile just then, and Dean laughed it off. Maybe it was obvious on him too. “But, I also think girls are pretty and all that normal shit.”

“Just because you like Castiel, or boys in general, doesn’t mean it’s not normal.”

Dean let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah right, that’s not what everyone else thinks.”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah, well maybe not everyone. But a lot of them do. The important, special people know it’s normal. Maybe a different normal, but it’s normal. And maybe you like both girls and boys?”

“Is that possible?”

Sam shrugged again. “I mean, that’s what you’re telling me, ain’t you?” Dean nodded. “So then you do. You can’t let anyone tell you who you like. You just like who you like. And for you, that’s girls AND boys.” Sam gave him a wide smile.

“They say, they say you go to Hell. And, I don’t know. Lisa always tells me stuff.” Dean didn’t want to think about that but it always came up.

“God says not to hate. He never says that liking boys. Or boys and girls, will send you to Hell. People just make that stuff up.” Dean should have come to his brother a long time ago.

“Yeah you’re right. Of course you’re right.” Dean rubbed some tears away again. He finally had stopped crying. “I like Cas… no, I  _ love  _ Castiel Novak… and that’s okay.”

Sam nodded along the whole time. “I’m proud of you, Dean. For accepting this and everything.” Sam gave Dean an encouraging pat on the back with a smile too. He didn’t want to ask the next thing, but he knew he had to. “So, are you going to tell him? Are you gonna tell Castiel? And break up with Lisa? What are you going to do?”

Dean thought it over. He had just gotten Cas to be okay with him being around, making sure Cas was okay. He even sometimes got away with calling him Cas, though most of the time he was corrected to say Angel. After all, to Dean, Cas was an angel. But he knew Cas wouldn’t accept him right now. He had to try a little more just as friends. But there were some things he could do.

“I’m going to call Lisa later tonight and tell her we’re over. And tomorrow I’m going to have Mom bake some strawberry cupcakes that I’ll bring over. But I won’t tell him yet. Cas and me, we still need some time for him to forgive me. For me to forgive myself. I need to be there for him a little more. But I will tell him, I will tell him… in a year.”

“A year?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, I need time so he won’t reject me. And to come up with how I’m gonna do it and what to say. I want it to be right.” Dean smiled to himself. He was going to get his boy back. He heard the Impala pull into the driveway. “And right now, I’m going to go tell Mom and Dad what I finally accepted today.”

Sam couldn’t have been more proud as he followed Dean down stairs.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let's just talk about this story or chapter! I love talking with y'all and hearing your ideas and what you like. It makes me beyond happy.
> 
> \---
> 
> Hey!! I hope you enjoyed. Still no editor or Beta, all mistakes are mine. New posts should come every Monday.
> 
> Make sure to comment and leave kudos. It will really help me pop these out faster. And don't forget to bookmark, so you know when the next chapter come out!
> 
> To see more of moi, follow @shoeless_sam on Instagram! I post edits every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. (Photo and Video!) I also post updates and news related to this story on there.
> 
> I also have a youtube called Shoeless Sam where I post tutorials, edits, and maybe some reaction type videos (I have some recorded, but I need to edit that together). And I have an @shoeless_art on instagram, and you can find all my art and OCs on there!


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